Breaking News: E3 Dragons Paid Better Than Booth Babes.
The best thing about E3′s epic failure as videogaming’s premier industry event in 2008 is that, in an effort to inject some much-needed spectacle, excitement and cleavage back into the proceedings, the organiser of the event, the Entertainment Software Association, has lifted the ban on booth babes and booth, er, dudes.
As well as reminding those of us who so eagerly point to the likes of Braid, Ico and Rez as worthy representatives of the medium that, in actual fact, videogames are still principally about staring at unattainable girls with low self-esteem and pretending to drive red shiny Ferraris, the reintroduction of booth babes will also provide useful employment to many of Los Angeles’ struggling actresses and call girls this summer.
But what sort of rates can a budding bikini model expect to take home after a day of being ogled at by grotesque nerds while maintaining an unflinching rictus grin? A brief survey of the Los Angeles Craig’s List listings is enlightening .
This advertisement posted in the Westside-Southbay area is offering successful Female Promo Models a flat $200 fee for a seven-hour day’s pouting (although you can no doubt quadruple that if one of **’s UK PR managers asks you back to his hotel for the evening).
You’ll need to send in a head shot and resume, although to be perfectly honest, a head shot will probably be more than enough detail. A decent WPM probably isn’t going to tip the balance in your favour when ‘reading’ for Princess Peach.
By contrast, the brusque, almost desperate plea, “Need tall, muscular male model” is offering would-be applicants a nifty 25 bucks an hour. Manage to turn in a nine-hour day, by staying behind to clear up the broken dreams of young staff writers perhaps, and you could do better than the girls.
Nevertheless, to land the best role of the week you’ll need neither chiseled pecs nor pert bosoms. Rather the “stamina to wear a heavy costume ” and “size: 9 or smaller” feet will see you through.
Playing the role of “RED DRAGON” you’ll secure $275 for your talents, albeit for the somewhat lengthy shift of 9am-6pm. The extra cash is well-deserved, however, as you’ll need to splash out on your own “khakis and footwear” (quite why you need to have size 9s or lower if you’re bringing your own shoes is beyond me). Reassuringly, the company will “provide the Red Dragon costume and polo”. Whether that last bit refers to the small German Volkswagen, the aristocratic equine sport or a solitary breath-freshening mint is unclear but whichever it is, you can be assured this is going to be a hell of a game.
The same posting advertises for a Japanese interpreter, although sadly you can’t apply for both roles at once. It’s author clearly states: “SPECIFY…DRAGON…OR INTERPRETER,” which also happens to be the phrase I shout through the letterbox anytime someone knocks on my front door of a dark and stormy night.